So You’ve Got a Hangover…
Something happened to me when I turned 30. I didn’t suddenly become an adult that actually understands how to do things like manage my 401k, file for taxes, or caulk my bathroom tiles. I didn’t sprout gray hairs or detect an onslaught of wrinkles. But another adult-ish phenomenon happened to me: I lost my ability to cope with a hangover.
Now, this isn’t altogether unsurprising – I have never been a big drinker, nor have I been known for my “sturdiness” when it comes to consuming booze. But the big 3-0 did confirm to me this fact: I was no longer invincible. And I needed to learn how to deal with a hangover.
As such, I’ve decided to share some – all-natural! – tips to alleviate a hangover (or hide the fact that I have one). Hopefully some of these are new to you – and hopefully you won’t need to use them too often!
(BIG ASS DISCLAIMER: I’m not condoning drinking to the point of a hangover. In fact, the best way to avoid a hangover is and always will be to avoid drinking. But some of us are not always abstemious and some of us want to indulge in a couple of Aloe Vera Margaritas every now and then. We’re only human.)
Take another shot.
Not of alcohol, you crazy kid! We’re adults now, remember? I’m talking about an apple cider vinegar shot, a favored palliative treatment of the S. Dubs team here. A diluted shot – I like one teaspoon ACV to three teaspoons water – helps to kill bacteria, will soothe your upset tummy, and assists in neutralizing spiked blood sugar levels (from, you know, that donut you just downed in a hangover haze). In short: It’ll serve as a catchall pain reliever, plus make you feel very healthy and responsible, too.
Hydrate – with food.
Isn’t sipping plain old water one of the worst parts of being hung over? For me, it tastes like melted bar ice. This is why I like eating my way towards hydration. Fruits are a good place to start – watermelon, cantaloupe, grapefruit, and strawberries all have water content above 90 percent, plus they provide a natural sugar boost to keep you from passing out. Another great option: Bone broth (which is liquid, but is more food-like, so cut me a break). It has a slew of health benefits, one of which is the fact that it is loaded in collagen – which can help plump up and hydrate your probably deflated-looking skin. Plus, it’s good for your immune system, which may have been compromised by your friends Jack and Jim (or Pinot and Grigio).
Indulge in a tricked-out bath.
Taking a bath should be a mandatory activity for when you have a hangover, because it’s honestly so damn soothing*. Not only is it a relaxing ritual – I am forever channeling Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman – it’s really good for when your body is in distress. The hot water will open your pores and encourage some good old-fashioned sweating, thus releasing the prior night’s villainous toxins. Spiking your bath with Sea Salt will help to further detoxify, increase circulation, and relax your muscles. Adding in some drops of calming essential oils (Lavender always is a good one, but I also love Ylang Ylang) will help to quiet your guilt-wracked brain, encourage mindfulness, and mask any stinky booze smell.
*Recently two co-workers informed me that they hate baths. They, I have to assume, are major outliers because baths are glorious and I refuse to believe otherwise. But if you hate baths, too, then just move right along please…
Give your face a massage.
I’m obsessed with this trick. Basically, by rubbing your face like Miss Lippy in Billy Madison you’ll be encouraging lymphatic drainage, thus helping to counteract alcohol-induced puffiness and bloat. Start with an organic plant or seed oil (I like our Jojoba Oil for this purpose) and rub a generous amount onto your face in sweeping, circular motions. Move from the inside of your face out, applying medium-ish pressure while doing so. I concentrate on my under-eye area, imagining that I’m literally pushing the puffiness out. Do this for about five minutes and then lay down as a reward for that vigorous effort.
I’m going to tell you what you already know: Coffee really only makes the symptoms of a hangover worse (as in: you’ll probably feel more dehydrated, your headache will be even worse, and you might even end up with explosive diarrhea). But coffee grounds are a whole ‘nother story. They are wonderful perk-me-ups when applied topically; their caffeine content will literally tighten and “wake up” your skin. Scrub them on your face using a lubricant (again, Jojoba Oil works, as does our coffee oil-based Oil Serum), let them sit on your skin for about five minutes, and then rinse thoroughly.
Grab some iced tea (bags).
This old wives’ tale holds true: Chamomile tea is a great brightening treatment for dark under-eye circles, as it possesses bleaching properties that will “lighten” up your skin. Moreover, by cooling the tea bags (I like to leave them, refrigerated, immersed in a cup chamomile tea), you get the added benefit of a cold compress to fight puffiness. I do this treatment while lying star-fished on my bed, contemplating where the night took a turn for the worst.